Life in the services, they say is mighty fine...

"children of officers in the armed forces are a class apart... it's so easy to spot them in a crowd!" says col sundaresan, a retired colonel of the indian army. when the colonel says this you can be sure he's being complimentary, but it can be viewed as being uppity. somehow the image of a person from the services background in the eyes of civilians is a misunderstood one. contrary to popular notion, they are not born party hoppers, don't drink a lot, and are definitely not a bunch of snooty kids who do not mix with others. in fact, they are survivors of many difficult conditions. from their very childhood, service officer's children, be they from the army, the navy or the air force have to cope with separation. some children manage easily while others like ann, whose father has recently been posted to kashmir, find it hard to cope with. ann has suddenly become very demanding, she craves for attention, cries for no reason and makes life difficult for her mother and all others in her immediate circle. if this is not dealt with at the right time she may develop psychological problems that might affect her studies, interests and general behaviour. incidentally, ann is only seven years old and this is the second time her father is leaving her mother and the two children for a two-year tenure in a non-family station along the country's borders. while it's true that girls demonstrate strong withdrawal symptoms which is not to say that boys don't miss their fathers. alex, her 11-year-old brother, is a lot more mature and understanding. generally mothers themselves find it tough to cope with separation and their distress is sensed by these kids who play the balancing role. from a very young age maturity comes to these children and this is often misinterpreted as being too big for their boots. constant shifting is another unavoidable aspect of military life. change of place, school, teachers, and friends is something a military child has to face up with. some kids take easily to it while others have problems. natasha, for instance, has moved into secunderabad with her army officer father recently. she is in the twelfth standard. like all others of her age she too has loads to study and tuitions to attend. natasha says, "it's easy for me, as i have many of my old friends here, the teachers are better in this school and both my parents are with me." not all fauji children have natasha's attitude. invariably at younger ages they have problems. it's always seen that the new kid in school is the butt of all jokes,and hence takes kids time to settle down. usually another services child is the first one to come across to make friends, then the group becomes a fauji children's group and others tend to believe that these children think no end of themselves and hence don't mix with the rest. most often these children go to school together, stay in the same colony and spend their evenings together.having so much in common they naturally relate to one another better. these shifts play a major role in the lives of these children. says jaishree, an air force officer's daughter, "we visit so many places, see different life styles, learn to cope with different weather conditions and all this makes us a lot stronger and more mature. we are able to accept any change easily due to this."